I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Michael Bay diarrhea
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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