i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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