what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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