I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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