I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
