i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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