If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think my vagina is haunted
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
pop tarts are not kleenex
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
