so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
