I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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