If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
