it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
