i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
