I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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