yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
