We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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