Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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