Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
