when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
