idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
