While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
