my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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