Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
