My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
