Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
