You're so nebulous sometimes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What a dumb baby whore.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
