So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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