I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
