Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
