I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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