fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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