He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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