I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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