Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is wine microwaveable?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
