considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
