My brain says no but my pants say off.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
