it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
