we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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