piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
