8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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