Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize