no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize