i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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