He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
