you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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