He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize