Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is the high leading the old right now
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
