remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
