Where are you?
In a non slutty way
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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