i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
