Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
