my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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