So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize