I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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