neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
