God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
