guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
