just come out here and I will go home with you...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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