I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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