I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
