Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize