I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
