And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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